No One Else to Blame
by AlreadyPerfectPotts
Summary: One-shot. Loki finds out about his mother's death.


**A/N: Hey! I know it's been a million and a half years since I've posted something... sorry! Anyway this is my first real attempt at writing from Loki's perspective, so any constructive criticism would be much appreciated! Disclaimer - I do not own the Thor movies or any of its characters; all rights go to Marvel.**

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Feeling sorry for himself was one of the things Loki was exceptionally good at.

This was one of the thoughts that passed through his head as he was sitting on the floor of his prison cell. He didn't deserve this, did he? All he tried to do was subjugate an inferior planet. He was a rightful ruler, born to be a king, and everyone in his life had been preventing him from reaching that goal. And now he was being punished for trying to fulfill his purpose in life. It really wasn't fair.

So when he advised that nasty-looking creature – Kurse, he was called – to avoid the horde of warriors by taking the stairs to the left, Loki felt a little better about himself. So what if his advice ended up costing Asgardian lives? He was simply getting back at them for sentencing him to a lifetime of solitude. And he could prove, even if it was just to himself, that not even a prison cell could keep him from having power. Loki was still a threat, someone important, someone not to be ignored. That was something no one could take away from him, no matter how hard they tried.

But this mindset soon changed.

He heard the guard before he saw him, and by the look on his face Loki could tell something wasn't right. He stood up warily and stepped toward the glass window of his cell.

The guard paused before he spoke, shrinking back a little as he faced the God of Mischief. "It is with the utmost regret that I inform you that the beloved Queen Frigga is dead."

Loki's heart seemed to stop. "Dead?" he repeated sharply. "That can't be."

"I'm afraid so. She was killed in a battle with the Kurse."

The words hit Loki like a train, and suddenly it felt like his world was caving in on him. He kept his composure long enough to calmly nod at the guard and wait until he was once again out of sight, but then he couldn't hold himself together any longer.

In a burst of rage and despair, Loki projected a force field that shattered everything in the room. Glass shards scattered across the floor, and Loki could see his fractured reflection in each piece. He snarled and stepped to the side, levitating the small table in the corner and hurling it towards the walls over and over until it was smashed to bits. He didn't realize until a few moments later that his foot was bleeding, and he didn't care either. He would rather endure that pain a million times over than experience the pangs of emotion that were coursing through him.

Even after Loki's rampage subdued, the room still echoed hauntingly with the shrill sounds of destruction. He pressed his back against the wall and slid down until he was sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him. Those four words kept reverberating in his mind as if they were attacking him:

_Queen Frigga is dead._

_Queen Frigga is dead._

_Queen Frigga is dead. _

Loki let out an anguished scream that erupted from the very core of his body, every muscle tensed up and every emotion surging forth. Pain and grief etched into his features as he slumped back against the wall and tried not to cry.

_Your mother is dead,_ his thoughts reminded him once more.

"Shut up!"

He tucked his knees close to his body and rested his head against them. The shock had dissipated, and now all that was left was a feeling he had not experienced before. Sadness and anger he had felt plenty of times, and self-loathing he was familiar with as well. But remorse? Never once had he felt guilty for anything he had done; not for killing those pathetic human lives on Earth, not for manipulating his own brother. But now his mother was dead. And it was his fault.

"What have I done?"

Loki couldn't wrap his mind around this fact, couldn't believe that she was suddenly gone. Frigga was the one person who had loved and cared for him all his life, who had shown him sadness instead of hatred upon his return to Asgard after New York, who was always there for him when he needed somebody. Now he had no one. She had disappeared out of his life, and she would never return.

And what had been his last words to her? _You're not my mother_.

A single tear leaked out of Loki's eye and slowly slid down his pale, angular face. "I'm a monster."

All the memories of the times he spent with her flooded through his mind, and suddenly he wanted nothing more in all the worlds than to be able to embrace her one more time. She had always loved him no matter what. And what had he done in return? He had disappointed her, he had broken her heart. And now he was responsible for her death. She never deserved this. How could he do this to her?

"I'm so sorry, mother," Loki whispered aloud to the empty room. "I love you."


End file.
